Apparently you have to call in advance to ensure that your pizza is ready when you sit down on one of the 2 tables, cleaned by a somewhat differently advantaged young man.
Place is complete with friendly old chef cheerfully yelling at people in a language that seems to be a mixture of at least two different languages.
I also got a lolly pop for free.

Friendly staff is included. The place is rather crowded around noon with regulars from surrounding offices.

The kindergarten size table pressed a bit too hard against my knees, though.

Why was I not informed of this? Huge Buffet, fresh ingredients and live cooking. AND they got dessert. Doesn't get better than that.

If you like waitresses flashing you a smile while walking past your table, then this place is for you. Of course there is the remote possibility that I was especially selected as the recipient of said smile. It is possible!
Anyway, other than that, a rather nondecscript place. The waiter was very polite, too, I guess.

It is a game of chance to get a decent bagel there these days. It highly depends on who makes it. Some of the staff really skimp on the spreads.
They do have excellent and fresh ingredients, that's for sure. Sometimes they just don't use them to their full effect :)

They generally sell only full grain stuff it would seem.

A completely typical Wiener Kafeehaus. The waiters are on top of things, and there is always a nice little corner seat to sit in and read a book or write in a notebook, like a true nerd.
Their pastry is kind of not so good, but oh well.

In addition, their coffee is excellent. The waiters are reasonably well pretending that they don't hate you, and the smoke is not too bad.

The food is pretty much Kaffeehaus standard, neither here nor there, ok I guess.

P.S.: In addition to Eiskaffee they also have Eisschokolade (Ice hot chocolate basically).

It also has a very cozy and stylish seating space in the basement. Their apfelstrudel is amazing.

Beware though: If the (apparently french) owner starts liking you too much, she will start to peck your cheek and pat your belly...

Excellent hummus and falafel, slightly uncomfortable seats, and an owner/waitress who will memorize whatever everyone on the table has ordered, even hours later.

Menu seems full of traditional stuff, if you are into that. Staff seems friendly, too.

It used to be my goto cafe in my younger years, now it seems to be a smoke filled and uncomfortable place filled with annoying people. At least in the evening. The food is good though.

You will find old folks and the out of work young folks hanging out there for coffee.

The outside seating area is nice, but a bit ruined by the traffic squeezing through the narrow street. The waitress was a bit confused at times, but charming.

Young and friendly staff. Just felt a little bad looking at the pictures of cows on the wall while eating their friends.
Two greasy thumbs up!

They are huge, thin, and very tasty. If you want to overeat on meat, this is the place to be. Just remember, it is not good for you, don't do it too often :)
There are two Figlmüller's in Vienna, and in this one, I had to watch one of the waiters making a few snide and racist comments about "what he is seeing on the streets these days" to some guests. It made me feel a bit less cozy and the schnitzel became less tasty.

The food is really equivalent. No complaints about racist waiters there.
For both Figlmüller's it is vitally important to reserve if you intend to eat at peak times at noon or evening.

Situated in the very touristy Grinzing but a little way off the main attractions, this place offers excellent traditional food and sports a motivated team of extremely friendly waiters. A bit pricey, if I recall correctly, but worth it.
Be prepared to dine with a fair amount of tourists.

Bestest fake meat experience I had so far. I even had to pass on the fish because it was too close to real fish. And real fish, not my thing.

The place has a nice and crisp interior design, if that matters to you. The buffet is cheap, 5,90, though it appears it was 4,90 before and they could not afford a new menu to reflect the price increase properly. As far as I can tell from eating their exactly once, the food is good, did not make me violently ill, and plenty.

The garden in the back is also nice and masks out much of the crappiness of the surroundings.

They also have a ton of cheese, if you are into that kind of thing.
But expect to pay through the nose.
Btw chips are not good for you, mmkay.

Josef is a unique place. Every time I go there I have the feeling I am with friends. Everybody is extremely friendly and forthcoming, the food seems to be prepared with love, not to mention that it is also tasty, organic, and fresh.
Just be sure to get there before the noon rush. St. Josef seems to have many friends like me.

Somewhere along the way they must have lost their cook, because nowadays the pizza is average (I don't know about the pasta). I still use it occasionally to take a pizza home, but the glory days of this establishment are gone. Or maybe my taste was less refined when I was a student.

Nice, straight forward menu options, one meat, one not, one very tasty, the other at least looking tasty, both kind of traditional viennese hausmannskost like.
And of course there is always the cozy lounge with the coffee and the hanging out.

If it the place was less dirty and less populated with weird people I would probably go there more often.
But their gulasch really is legendary. They should start a delivery service :D

As students, this was an indispensable resource for a high food/money ratio and we stuffed our faces there with Schnitzel and their otherworldly "Cordon" many a times.
Though known for its huge Schnitzel servings, oddly the quality of their Schnitzel has declined over the years in my opinion. Still, this is another one of those places for your annual overeating frenzy, as not only is their Schnitzel huge, their Cordon Bleu is just inhuman. Not to mention the infamous "Filet Don Carlos".
The staff is friendly enough most of the time, but very short. I once saw someone got kicked out by the owner himself, because he complained about his gulasch. I think he was rude to one of the waitresses as well, though.

If you are still into Schnitzel, at this place you will get the biggest and bestest in that neck of the woods. Expect the charm of the countryside, though, for better or for worse.

The "feinkost" peeps are the best, and they keep making awesome new stuff and relentlessly feed you samples in the progress. So if you ride through on your hog (as people seem fond of doing here), be sure to get your Wurstsemmel there!

k.a. my friends and me) it went by the name "Hexus". This is a long time ago but I assume the basic business of the place is intact, which is catering to young people who like to listen to music of varying quality and sit in a dark place only illuminated by candle light, whilst consuming moderate to large amounts of beer. They made some good food, too.

I also saw a man accidentally set his hair on fire at this place. He was ok though.

Thumbs up, tummy ow.
It helps that the staff is extremely amicable too.

Not only is the ice cream delicious, but the service is most excellent. No matter how busy the place, your order will arrive within minutes. They have an outdoors heating system, which makes it possible to eat ice cream in winter, sitting outside. It doesn't get better than that.

If you are into that kind of thing.

The place is in the very middle of Grinzing, at peak times totally filled up with tourists and rich residents, but outside of those times oddly relaxing and soothing, with its traditional interior and relaxed waiters. Very pricey though.
The "non-Martini-Gansl" food is OK, though I have had better.

Food is traditional austrian, good enough, not mind blowing. They have a lovely garden with a huge tree. Their service is a bit slow at times.